These spaces where I share my thoughts don't feel natural.
To be transparent, I come from a place were self-deprecation had been the normal for years and I really challenged myself last year to get out of that habit. It's hard to break and I am not sure what to say to myself even though I can easily give advice to those that ask me. Several things changed within my world last year in 2023 and I am still trying to grasp how to handle it all but I want to share my thoughts about the journey. I am taking courage to share because I have made new friends who are so supportive. I probably would not have been 1/4 of my courageous self about posting what I've been up to without those around me. Community really makes a difference and I am so glad I took the jump to go out and meet new people through ECM.
Selling my art and other creations feels weird.
This comes from a place where this shop still feels like a foreign place to myself. More times than not I love gifting friends what I create. I don't think too much about what I can get out of it but I enjoy the thought of giving someone a well thought out gift. I've thought about it and its probably because my main love language is gift giving. I want to give, but that doesn't pay the bills. So I've decided to open up a Ko-fi! This way I can share art that I feel like does not fit under my umbrella of what I want this shop to look like. Any digital assets I make for my sister or for fun will be free to download there! It's your choice to support me with tips there and I feel more comfortable with sharing the miscellaneous art projects that way and not pressure anyone to support me for something I consider as a hobby.
Faceted in Life.
It's just a different side that is part of a whole. All these parts are a part of me so I wasn't sure if I wanted to separate it into different businesses, but ended up deciding on the focus on different shop platforms will focus on different aspects. My brand slogan is Faceted in Life for a reason. I am faceted like everyone else. Some will follow along most of my journey, while others will only follow a select side.
I feel rewarded yet exhausted.
I do this to myself all the time. I enjoy what I do so much that I spend all my free time on what I love. That being said, I also have other commitments to other jobs. So balancing rest into my life has been difficult. This is a work in progress for many who are driven to create and I want to catch this habit before I hit burnout severely. I have hit it in the past to the point of causing health issues so it is now a determination to prevent that from happening again! It's always a journey and I want to encourage anyone who struggles with this to join me in finding your own cadence to a balanced life.
Through the struggles, I still want to share!
Despite all the self doubt, fear, and occasional negative talk, I want to share what I learn. I want to share the struggle for others to also learn from my mistakes. Overcoming my fears has been apart of my journey since I was little. I'm always scared. It doesn't stop me from going after what I want though. On the outside for others it might seem like I can do the things most people hate or are afraid of:
- public speaking
- solo traveling
- picking up new skills
- understanding laws and policies
- designing and creating
What if I said those are what I am most afraid of so I worked hard to not show my fear. I've always hated getting told I can't do something because of x, y, z. That is the only time my competitive spirit kicks in. To prove them wrong! Now it is not always healthy to be like that but small things like at 14 y/o I couldn't go traveling alone to play soccer in Brazil because I was a girl. I ended up going, but it took 2 months of persuasion. So you could say that I have always been this stubborn when it comes to pursuing what I want. Doesn't mean I wasn't scared. Since I didn't know anyone that I was going with, I was very nervous and consider myself as a stress cadet to the point that made me question if it was the right decision to push. Today I am happy that I did that at that age. I surprise so many people when I say I was a gold medalist sports ambassador for the US at the age of 14, who traveled alone out of country for soccer. That courage that I took there is what I want to carry with me for the rest of my life.